Spoon theory was coined by Christine Miserandino in her blog ButYouDontLookSick.com and is mostly used in reference to chronic illnesses like fibromyalgia and autoimmune diseases. However, I’ve found it to be very useful in conceptualising how we all have different levels of energy each day, whether or not we have a chronic illness. As a therapist, I often bring up spoon theory to my clients who feel like they should be doing more each day or who tend to compare themselves to their peers.
What is spoon theory?
We all have a different number of spoons each day. Some of us wake up with more spoons than others, and we may even wake up with a different number each day! Different activities take up a different number of spoons each day. For example, taking a shower might take up one spoon while attending a family dinner might take three spoons. Everyone’s “price list” looks a little different – a family dinner might cost me three spoons, whereas it might cost someone else five spoons!
How do I use it in therapy?
Because we have different spoons than those around us, it is not helpful to compare ourselves to others. Some of our spoon drawers are just bigger than others. Instead, we should be planning our days and setting our expectations according to how many spoons we have. If we don’t get enough rest, we don’t wake up with a full drawer of spoons. With this analogy, I emphasise the importance of being aware of your own capacity (the size of your spoon drawer and the number of spoons you have) and getting sufficient rest (so you wake up with more spoons).
More than just sleep can replenish the spoon drawer – sometimes, we can get more spoons by doing things that recharge us. I also reference a pot of goodwill here, which I will write about in another post in the future.
In summary, spoon theory talks about how we have different energy levels (spoons) each day. Therefore, we have to plan our day and set our expectations based on the number of spoons we have rather than focusing on what other people are able to accomplish each day.
