“Self-love”, as its name implies, is loving yourself. However, this might seem like a very abstract concept to some. How do I love myself? What counts as loving myself? This article aims to simplify the concept of self-love and to break it down.
What is self-love?
You show yourself love by treating yourself the way you would treat a loved one. This means taking care of yourself and talking to yourself with love, compassion, and understanding.
Practising self-love
Imagine someone you love coming home one day feeling crummy and exhausted after a bad day. Maybe they got scolded by their boss or they did poorly for a test. We might try to comfort them and reassure them that they did their best, and everyone makes mistakes. We might also ask them to take a hot shower and curl up with them to watch their favourite show or give them the space to talk about how they feel. If it were ourselves making such a mistake, however, we might treat ourselves to criticism and harsh words. We might tell ourselves that only stupid people make such mistakes, that we deserve to fail, that we do not deserve love. We need to make a conscious effort to avoid this type of emotional and verbal abuse towards ourselves and instead practice self-love. We need to show ourselves compassion and understanding.
How we treat our loved ones goes beyond making them feel good. We also want our loved ones to be healthy, and this might mean advising them to do things they may be reluctant to do, such as eating healthy or confronting their own emotions. Likewise, practising self-love is not just about being indulgent and enjoying life. We need to push ourselves to do things we are uncomfortable with, like avoiding toxic relationships, stepping outside of our comfort zones, eating even when we do not feel like it, or sleeping before midnight.
Ultimately, self-love is about doing what is good for us and acting with our best interests in mind.